6 ALBUMS ABOUT...ER, YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW...

The music of Zoojay (Jonathan Niehaus) might be the most disturbing, disgusting stuff I've ever heard. Simply put, he sings about having sex with dogs. Siberian huskies, to be precise. There is some info on-line about Niehaus but I have no idea how true any of it is, e.g.: molesting animals is not just a fantasy for him as he has apparently been caught in the act, resulting in him being fired from a job at a pet store. And supposedly, he has made videos that feature him illustrating the songs. I'm not going to look for them to confirm this. Listening to this music is bad enough! And supposedly, he is on the autism spectrum  (not that that's any excuse.)

And he has six albums. 

Musically, it's crap rave/techno, and there are plenty of instrumentals for those with nervous dispositions. But the vocal numbers are what move Niehaus outside of most outsider musics. His voice, the high-pitched squeak of a pathetic sissy, would be funny in other circumstances, what with his rhythm-less/rhyme-less lyrics that make song-poem authors look like Shakespeare. He is utterly unconcerned about any possible harm he may be doing to his unwilling partners. And he is unrepentant, demanding that beastiality be legalized and that everyone should just "leave him alone." He names one song "This Human Sex Thing Is So Corny."

I haven't listened to all six, just bits and pieces here and there, but I did listen to the album "Anthems For Dogs Only" in its' entirety. Not all the songs are about animal abuse.  "What In The Hell" questions the economy. "Normal = Wrong Life" accuses his father of abuse. If that's true all I can say is: don't worry Dad, no jury will convict you. At least he's self-aware enough to name two songs "Shut The Fuck Up (With This God Damn Music)" and "This Song Sucks." And the "Shoktro" album has a song called "Boo, Get Off The Stage."
Unfortunately, "Shoktro" also features the song "The Instructional Guide To Having Sex With Huskies." Do not listen on a full stomach.

An anonymous reader provided us with this link:

Jonathan Niehaus Discography (6 albums)

Technical note: You'll need WinZip to download these. WinZip is free.
UPDATE: 7-Zip, also free, should work as well (thanks, DeReviùer)





Thanks (?) to anon. I promise my next posts will be culturally and spiritually uplifting!

"Another Goddam DEATH Dedication"

R.I.P. Don Joyce of Negativland. 

The legendary sound collagist/radio mastermind/culture-jammer has joined Snuggles.

If you didn't download the "Helter Stupid" show that I posted last year, a bootleg with excellent right-off-the-mixing-board sound quality, now would be the time to check it out:

Negativland Live - "Helter Stupid Tour" 1989

Christianity is Stupid! This video is GOOD:

When Surfing In Space, Apply MOON-TAN LOTION

46 years ago today, humans walked on the moon for the first time, as millions watched on TV (the Soviets, via their own Luna 15 craft, were no doubt angrily shaking their fists at the screen!), and some even watched with their naked eye by telescope. One British Colombian astronomer actually watched without a telescope - he knew the night sky so well that he could tell which dot was Apollo 11. The actual landing craft and American flag is still there, also visible by telescopes, and, were you to land at Tranquility Base, you could even see Neil Armstrong's footprints. Not a whole lot of weather on the moon.

Apart from the Space Race, the Sixties also gave us surf rock, and trashy rock 'n' roll in general. Two great tastes that go great together! Seems like a good time to celebrate this most holy of unions, what with the amazing Pluto mission now happening, and surf music feeling so right in this summer heat. 

These are mostly guitar instrumentals, but wacky sci-fi sound fx, keyboards, horns, and even some orchestral arrangements all add plenty of variety. And so you don't o.d. on instros, there's a few vocal numbers as well. I've always loved the Steven Garrick and His Party Twisters song (the female singer reminds me of Rusty Warren) yet for some reason I still haven't listened to much of the rest of the album. A little twisting goes a long way. There's also some rockabilly, doo-wop, some great lounge crooning ("Journey To The 7th Planet"), and one of Brian Wilson's greatest bits of lunacy (yes, it was once thought that the moon - Luna - caused madness). And then there's Sandy "King of the Surf Drummers" Nelson's "Beat From Another World," 7 bewildering minutes of studio and tape effects + drum solo that is certainly unlike anything else I've ever heard. It's more avant-garde then most stuff that thinks it's avant-garde.

I kinda cheated this time and included some modern surf bands along with the oldies, e.g.: contempo groups covering songs from the Ventures classic "In Space" album, and the "Blob" and "Dr Who" covers. They're just too good. But no Man or Astro-Man - seeing as how their entire career is surf-in-space, they would be a bit too obvious, no?
 
And once again, as we usually do when we get all mid-century lowbrow, there's some audio ephemera thrown in. This time, it's: 'B' movie ads and dialogue, a children's record, and sci-fi sound effects. And, as per usual, the collection's title and artwork (cartoonist Bill Wenzell, in this case) are courtesy of vintage men's magazines.

Lowbrow Vol.5 MoonTan Lotion - A MusicForManiacs Collection

Do I have to write out the track list? It's 30 tracks and I'm tired!
UPDATE 7/22: Thanks to a reader with a suitably sci-fi handle,
Soylentwhitetrash, the tracklist is now in Comments.

COSMIC DENNIS GREENIDGE

"Cosmic" Dennis Greenidge is a 60-something Londoner who sings off-key nonsense lyrics over other people's instrumental music playing out of a boombox in the background. Ha! In fidelity as low as early Daniel Johnson, Greenidge enthusiastically warbles lyrics like "Psychtronic, psycho-sonic boom! Don't leave the room!" or "the amazing colossal cucumber man" over a wide variety of musics. Sometimes he likes just a snippet of music (the intro perhaps) and audibly keeps hitting 'rewind' to play the good bit over and over, "singing" all the way. The songs are often under a minute, hence we've got a whopping 66 tracks here.

They're not all songs, e.g. "Horror Interlude," a brief radio drama that's far more funny than scary. Other highlights include the kiddie march "Lavender Castle," the bizarre beach party of "Satellite Beach" ("Space Dracula, Space Frankenstein, Space Mothra, party down!"), the literal laugh riot of "The Laughing Cavalier," and the quite wonderfully bonkers "Spaghetti Yeti": "Spaghetti, you eat it! Yeti can eat you!" There's even the inspirational sincerity of "The Windows Are Open." Such delightful torture!

Musos will of course consider Cosmic Dennis to be utterly without any musical talent, but, like The Note-Ables, he's obviously having such a grand time with this lunacy that many Maniacs will find themselves getting swept up into Greenidge's mad world. Or is it madness? Perhaps it's just good ol' English eccentricity.

Cosmic Dennis Greenidge "Giant Man Giant Plan" (66 tracks - 2008)
(tracklist here)

Ross Bolleter's Music For Ruined Pianos

A reader left a comment today: "How does one download from Google on a Mac? I cannot figure it out..." I'm not a Mac-intologist. Anyone?
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Rather than take old, decrepit pianos and attempt to repair and tune them, Australian composer/improviser Ross Bolleter makes new music out of "ruined" pianos. Bolleter approaches each piano as a singular entity, utilizing each instrument's lack of standard tuning, missing keys, broken strings, etc. to create strange, haunting, stirring sounds that would not be possible to make on a new piano. Which seems like a much more logical approach than taking every sound-making thing on the planet and forcing the limited range of the Western scale on it.

The music on this album hardly sounds like "piano music." The lengthy opening track is meditative loveliness, ranging from Asian gong sounds to birds calls in the background (this really is a 'field recording') to horror movie atmospherics. The remaining short tracks sound similar to John Cage's prepared piano works, but while Cage's pieces were gamelan-inspired and strictly written, these are free and jazzy. So ingenious one wonders why no-one thought of doing something like this before?

Ross Bolleter - Secret Sandhills and Satellites (Pieces For Ruined Pianos) (2006)
(UPDATE 7/15: Missing track now in file.)

Count Otto hepped me to this cat via this article about "Touring Australia's Piano Graveyards."

Pardon my Amazon cut-and pasting:

ROSS BOLLETER ruined pianos (+ accordion on 7)

1 - SECRET SANDHILLS - 28:00
2 - AXIS - 6:47
3 - DEAD MARINE - 6:10
4 - AND THEN I SAW THE WIND - 3:22
5 - CHORUS LINE - 1:39
6 - SAVE WHAT YOU CAN - 2:40
7 - GOING TO WAR WITHOUT THE FRENCH IS LIKE GOING TO WAR WITHOUT AN ACCORDION - 4:23
8 - TIME WAITS - 5:59
9 - COME NIGHT - 2:02
10 - JAUNTY NOTES OF PADDOCKS BRIGHT - 4:22
11 - OLD MAN PIANO - 1:46

"All digital recordings made in Australia around Perth and Alice Springs 2001-2005. Pieces for ruined pianos and pianos on the edge of ruin... The main work, inspired by an Aborigine painting, is the 28-minute Secret Sandhills, a generally slow-moving work spliced together from performances on six ruins. There are also 10 shorter and generally faster Satellites, some of which were performed on two ruined pianos simultaneously. Fresh new sounds from decaying old instruments."

"Female Trouble": The Soundtrack

By request from multiple requesters requesting requests...now back on-line:
RIAA: "Sounds For The Swing-Set," "Radical, Intense and Awesome", and "Schizophonia Suite." And just in time for summer: "Soul Surfin'."

Following the recent post of the soundtrack to the John Waters film "Pink Flamingos," blogger extraordinaire Jonny Zchivago slipped us the OST to Waters' 1974 classic "Female Trouble." Ingredients: some splendidly sleazy early rock, inc "Underwater," one of my fave surf oddities; Nervous Norvus hippin' the squares to that jive lingo; the singing debut of Divine; some slices of corny suburban cheese; and choice bits of dialogue from the film. As the great Nervous Norvus would say, dig-a-roonee:

"Female Trouble" Soundtrack + Bonus Filth!

01 Divine - Female Trouble Theme [original lyrics sung over an existing song...but what is the song?]
02 "Christmas at the Davenports"
03 Gene Autry - Jingle Bells
04 Ruby Wright with Cliff Lash and his Orchestra and the Dick Noel Singers - Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Xmas
05 "The World of Heterosexuality"
06 Chuck Río & The Originals - Blue Kat
07 "A Meatball Sandwich"
08 Nervous Norvus - Dig
09 Bill Black Combo - Yogi
10 101 Strings Orchestra - Bridal March
11 "Retarded Brat"
12 The Frogmen - Underwater

Order now and we'll include these free gifts! Some songs not on the soundtrack, but inspired by the film that I've added to the file Jonny sent us:

- D. Sticker Ensemble - Massey Resource [sound collage of film dialogue vs Philip Glass (?)]
- Eartha Kitt w/Bronski Beat - Cha Cha Heels [a couple of disco/house stompers]
- Rosabel w/Jeanie Tracy - Cha Cha Heels
- The Cowslingers - Cha Cha Heels [trashy garage-rock]

Thanks and praise to Jonny Zchivago!
  

HERB ALPERT GOES MOD

Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass sold more albums than almost anyone else in the '60s, so it's no surprise that any goofball with a trumpet would try to cash in on their effortlessly enjoyable, upbeat, instrumental style. And, indeed, there were plenty of those.  Making a vocal album, however, is another story. Who in their right mind would attempt an entire album of singing new words to famous instrumentals?

But that is what Big Band veterans the Modernaires did, setting lyrics to Alpert & Co.'s numerous hit tunes (apart from songs like "All My Loving" that, of course, already had lyrics). The tight-harmony vocal quintet used to sing with the likes of Glen Miller back in the '40s, so presumably this was their attempt to get, er, "mod." Of course, it's utterly ridiculous, even more removed from anything resembling actual Mexican music than even Alpert was. But like the TJ Brass itself, it's so gosh-darn HAPPY! that it's hard to resist. No slow songs here. But no parka-clad British youth riding scooters either.

the Modernaires - The "Mods" Salute Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass

1. Tijuana Taxi
2. Spanish Flea
3. What Now My Love
4. My Buddy
5. A Walk In the Black Forest
6. All My Loving
7. A Taste of Honey
8. Alley Cat
9. Mexican Shuffle
10. I'm Getting Sentimental Over You
11. And The Angels Sing

Member of the Hollywood session all-stars The Wrecking Crew perform on this, inc. Tommy Tedesco, possibly the most recorded guitarist ever. 

I was reminded of this album, and Alpert in general, whilst recently visiting Herb's spectacular restaurant, Vibrato. From the minute we walked in, an instro combo was serving up cool jazz and Latin lovelies like "The Girl from Ipanema," "Besame Mucho", "The Peanut Vendor," and a famous '60s groover I could not place (Horace Silver? Oscar Peterson?) From the drink menu, I passed on the 'Tijuana Taxi' and ordered 'The Spanish Flea.' Muy bueno, as were the lamb chops. And actor Jon Voight called our daughter "beautiful." So happy Fathers' Day to me, eh?

I'm Bringing Weirdness Back...

If you feel like genuine musical weirdness died with Sun Ra and Captain Beefheart, take heed!  We have some 

stone-cold freakazoids in our midst even today. To whit:

- The Everyday Film is raising funds for his next album. Judging by the excerpts of works in progress in the video 

below, it's the veteran outsider's most ambitious project yet, as it moves beyond his usual industrial nightmares 

into some realms of sound that actually resemble, well, music. Y'know, that some people will like to listen

 to? So give, brothers and sister, give 'til it hurts:

The Everyday Film - "Bleed Over" (GoFundMe site)

- Ostrich Von Nipple is such a great name that I thought there was no way that their music could measure up to it, 

but their latest album is an absolutely awesome acid-bathed assemblage of spazz-jazz-tronica, weirded-out lyrics, 

and a guest guitarist who has played with the Residents, no less. Songs like "Mad Martian Beach Party" actually

sound like their titles. One 10-minute track suggests prog, but prog is rarely this humorous and surreal.  Originally

released last year in hard copy formats thru Psychofon Records, including a very limited vinyl run, it's now available

digitally thru outlets like Amazon and iTunes. In Maniac-universe, this album would sweep the Grammys.

"Ostrich von Nipple Quantifies Absurdity" album Amazon page 

Ostrich Von Nipple "Upright Jerker" (mp3)

- Petunia-Liebling MacPumpkin, the gal who's so cray-cray she makes Kate Bush look like Barbra Streisand, is the

 one who hipped us to the Nipple. Her own latest video "Picked Fences" (see below) is another outlandish mixture of 

live action, animation, puppets, toys, video effects, and art-song.   

- Womb Pals' brief (13 minutes) name-your-price download EP "Baby Spinach" is mostly pleasantly low-key

piano ambience, but is notable for the track "perfection," which ingeniously samples the sounds of coughing and 

throat-clearing. No other instruments. Exactly the kind of thing that Maniacs might find clever and funny, and 

Normals might respond to by running away, hands over ears. That's irri-tainment! 

http://wombpals.bandcamp.com/releases 

- The Chewers are the twisted Southerners whose two previous albums got rave reviews from Yours Truly on these 

here virtual pages. They're still spewing out their inbred hell-billy guitar rock primitivism, but with seemingly

a bigger budget. More instrumental sounds, cleaner production, guests vocalists - they sound better

than ever, tho the songs are not sticking with me the way their earlier work did. One track, however, the utterly

over-the-top "Misanthropic Bones," just might be the greatest thing they've ever done. It's a kind of rap song, 

with a clenched-teeth Chewer sptting out rhymes like "I don't get enough sun or sleep/I'm a hollow, distorted 

creep."

Well, aren't we all?

The Chewers "Dead Dads" album Bandcamp page

The Chewers  "Misanthropic Bones" (mp3)